13. God

Humanity doesn’t need faith in me, they need hope in themselves. For example let’s look at these two teenagers, Bruce and Sofie. Every Monday and Wednesday, they sit next to each other in history class. I watch as Sofie spends the class writing “Bruce” over and over in her notebook. She dreams about him talking to her, asking her out. Anxiety and hormones slush in her brain, creating an intense battlefield, leaving her paralyzed. Bruce fights the same battle as he tries to not stare at Sofie’s snug breasts each day. As I look into their futures, I see that their anxieties will prevent them from realizing their mutual attraction. Even if I put them in a group project together, force them to talk, they would still be too paralyzed to act upon these desires.

And yet, despite these anxieties, they continue to fantasize about each other. They cannot see their own future, so they live on, in hope that one day, things will work out. Bruce could overcome this anxiety with a little self esteem, but he doesn’t know how to build it. His culture has lost this knowledge and replaced it with something they call “will power.” He doesn’t take control of his own life; he’s too scared, so he becomes a blade of grass, just accepting whatever comes his way. Sofie spends the semester praying. Instead of talking to me, she should be talking to Bruce. This passive acceptance creates a downward spiral causing the anxiety and depression to build. These forces can take over their minds, until one day they break. And yet, I can see their future, and I know they never break. Because they hope for the future, they believe things can change, even when they’re too scared to act on them. It’s hope that ultimately drives humanity, and I’m alright with that.

© Chris Richards 2009